“So there is going to be a housewarming party and I’m not there to liven things up? Whatever will you people do other than bore yourselves to tears?”
Kim glimpsed his own reflection in a living room mirror, noticed the slight grimace that passed over his attractive features on hearing his brother’s comment. After such a disappointing evening, this phone call was the last thing he had desired, when all he wished to do was sit alone and sulk.
“Oh I know,” Sid continued. “Perhaps East and Arthur will regale you with their musical skills, or old man Braddock will do a bit of shadowboxing or jump rope or something equally dreary. Just swear that if one of the ex-law enforcement start into some pathetic tale of their heroic exploits, you’ll shut them up by whatever means necessary. If White starts talking about the Victory Motel, please shoot him! You have my blessings and I will defend you to the ends of the Earth. We’ll call it temporary insanity and no jury in the world will convict you.”
“I doubt any of that will be necessary, Sid. Trust me, I don’t think you’ll be missing a lot.”
“You’re probably right. Housewarming parties are usually such pesky affairs anyway, especially if you don’t like the person being toasted.” He started giggling. “Remember...Remember when they had the one for Dr. Girardeau and the good General showed up in full battle gear?”
Kim laughed. “It was worth being there for that.”
“I could not have written a better script! But anyway, tell me more about her. You’ve been very secretive.”
“Have I?” Kim took a drink of his bourbon on the rocks, although he had a feeling that considering how his luck had been that Friday, a straight bourbon would be next on his agenda. Oh what the hell – the remnants in that bottle of Maker’s Mark was looking better and better.
“Don’t toy with me, Kim Barrett. This is your dear sibling Sid 6.7 you’re talking to, not one of your lesser brothers....Is there something you’re not telling me?” The question was filled with suspicion.
“No,” came the firm reply, not once revealing how he honestly felt. There was no way he would speak of how ridiculous he had felt finding himself in the company of Arthur, Dominic and Johnny, all four of them courting the same woman. “And you shouldn’t be cynical towards the one who is more like you than anyone.”
“Kim...there is no one like me,” Sid answered, half-seriously and half-humorously. “All right, all right...I love you too, brother dear, you know that, and we are a good deal alike, aren’t we?”
“You are my mentor.”
“That’s sweet. We’re intellectual equals, Kim...”
We might be...but we don’t trust one another any further than we could throw the other.
“That is why I took you to my bosom, so to speak...but you still have to tell me more about her. It’s not like I can jump into some Star Trek transporter and zip there in a moment’s notice, you know. I’m on my yacht...in the middle of nowhere and on the far side of the Point...having a most wonderful holiday with Tonya and...”
“Why are you on the phone with me then?”
“I was bored,” came the childlike response. “Not with Tonya, no....She’s taking a bubble bath and I’m left to my own devices for a little – you know how women are with their bubble baths – so I thought I would call you and see what the hell was happening in my absence. I thought it was about time for Etienne to hire the new chef – she put them through enough, didn’t she, but can’t say I blame her. We need someone that is going to be as much a permanent fixture as possible, the way Annabella was for so long. But...tell me about her. I love that name.”
“Annabella?”
“I loved that name too...but I meant Adalia. Adalia Rabinovich,” and he said the name in the most perfect Russian accent. “It’s like something out of Tolstoy, isn’t it? Or a heroine in Eugene Onegin – the Princess Adalia Rabinovich or the Countess Adalia Rabinovich....Have you met her yet? What’s she like?”
And if I tell you what an angel she is, you’ll head back tonight. I know you wouldn’t be unfaithful to Tonya while she’s here, but you’d do anything to throw the proverbial monkey wrench into the works. “I...I’ve only met her in passing. Tina introduced her to everyone at the Tavern, so that was very general...”
“And not at all intimate. So did you speak to her directly...or did you take the more diffident approach to make her more curious?”
“I did introduce myself, yes...”
“And how long did it take before Etienne scurried her away? A minute? Thirty seconds?”
Kim laughed. “More like ten!”
“Oh they do hate for the women to be around the ‘horrible likes of us’ don’t they? I still say that had not White interrupted us when I first met her, Etienne would have...oh well...water under the bridge and all that. Instead of knowing me, she became the long suffering Mrs. Biebe....Anyway, did Ms. Rabinovich show any interest?”
“Not really. I think she was overwhelmed by it all, Sid. You know how they get when they see so many of us in one room together, even if there are other people around. Pretty much all our brothers were there.”
“Fuck.”
“I was just one of many...and of course Aubrey...”
“Oh gods...he’s like the dinner guest that never leaves.”
“Well, it wasn’t that he did anything in particular, but he’s so damn noticeable.”
“I know, I know.” Kim could almost imagine Sid rubbing his forehead as if a headache was coming on. “If it’s not him then it’s White...and if it’s not White then it’s Mr. Strength and Honor...and if it’s not him it’s Thorne...and on and on and on and...What the hell did we do to deserve to be brothers to such inferior beings?”
“You’d have to speak to the Creator about that.” Kim took another drink.. “He seems to find such an interest in playing those sorts. Seems that he has no intention of stopping either...but I suppose that’s what makes him...”
“Unique? Yes, true. He played me after all. A lot of others would have stayed clear, but not him. Remember when Ford said he would never play a villain?” Sid giggled again. “What an idiot...but I’m getting so far afield again....What do you think of Ms. Rabinovich, Kim?” and his voice dropped to a whisper as he asked, “Would we want to have a spicy little threesome with her?”
“Well...”
“Ah damn....Sorry...you’ll have to tell me later. I think I just heard Tonya go into the bedroom so she must be done with her little bubble bath. I have the nicest massage oil all ready and....Oh...too many details and I shouldn’t even start down that path.”
“I’ll let you go then.”
“Yes I....” And in a louder voice he called out, “I’m on my way!” Then back to Kim: “Sorry....Rude of me to start a conversation and then end it so abruptly.”
“You need to go. Tonya’s waiting. You should never keep a woman waiting.” Kim came very close to being insistent.
“True...and you didn’t need to learn that from me either. Well, have a wonderful time at the housewarming tomorrow night. Take plenty of pictures, especially if someone makes an ass of themselves. We’ll keep them for future extortion purposes. I’ll see you in a few days.”
“Have fun.”
“Oh...I most certainly am! Bye-bye, Kim.”
“Good...” He heard the phone unceremoniously click in his ear. “Good-bye, Sid...you son-of-a-bitch.”
Calling to rub it in...as always. I could have done without that and he launched into a mocking imitation of Sid: “‘Oh Kim...you’re home? I didn’t expect you to answer, not on a Friday night, but I was taking a chance.’ Fucking bastard. You’d have thought someone told him I’d blown it and he called to see what I would and wouldn’t say.”
There are times – I swear – when I can’t stand him....There are times...Oh God...I would love to wipe that slimy little smirk off his face...but the awful thing is, he’s the only one that really understands me. Shit....This is when...and I hate to say this...but this is when I wish I was more like...them. He shuddered and continued to pace the room, taking another drink as he did.
All right...I would never, never say that to anyone - I don’t even know why I’m thinking it, but...I get tired of being known as the one ‘that’s like Sid, but he’s not exactly Sid so you can feel a little safer around him. But you still can’t trust him’....It’s rough going through life like that. Funny how I used to not care, but I really don’t like being known as...Sid Lite. I’ll bet half of them don’t even know that I know they call me that. Sid Lite. He sighed, groaned and massaged one hand over the back of his neck, hoping to end the tightness there. It’s not a pretty nickname Kim. And why the fuck do I care so much now?
He was back before his reflection again, the handsome, well-dressed image he took such absolute pride in keeping his best.
How could she not look at that and...and maybe that’s the problem. I want her to think the way all the others have...that if they can’t have Sid, why would they want anyone else.... But something wasn’t right with that thought – he knew it the second it emerged from his consciousness, and he spoke the words aloud as if to verify them: “If they can’t have Sid, why would they want anyone else?” But that’s...that’s not quite right is it?....I...I want her to think “Why would I want anyone but you, Kim.” That’s what I really want. It’s sappy, it’s hokey....Who gives a damn but me....
He admitted it. Whenever his siblings were in a miserable state, he reveled in it, for there was nothing more delightful than seeing some brother in love suddenly fall out of love, or simply lose it for good. Colin had not been the same since Michelle departed, and most of them wondered – even Kim secretly – whether he would ever recover, particularly considering that the relationship had been something more than casual.
It’s definitely more than casual when you get a place of your own...and you propose to a woman. I honestly think if she had not returned his ring, he would have gone on thinking she might one day come back. I’m glad she at least had the decency to put him out of his misery...so to speak. Although the way Colin drinks and whores around these days, maybe she should have sent along a pistol and ammo with the ring. No...No...what would I do without him to be compared to? Besides...we still don’t know what might happen if one of us....And when I think of all the ones that have broken Brother Bud’s little heart. Bad enough you leave the man in the gutter, but to bring your current lover to the Point to be the new handyman....That was almost too tacky for Sid and me! I’m not even going to start on Cort. There’s a major league loser if ever there was one. I’ve nearly lost count of how many have claimed to love him, then up and took off when Preacher Man got a little too serious. Well...anyway...at least a few of the others have been more than kind when they left out of this place...Annabella was, bless her soul. I do miss that girl. but no...I would be lying to myself to admit that I didn’t love wallowing in all the sackcloth and ashes my brothers put on. Sid and I enjoyed the hell out of that.
But when he was alone or reposing beside his latest conquest (and wondering how soon he could discretely depart her bed or ease her out of his), there would be moments – however brief – that made him imagine what it might be like to have something lasting. He would momentarily gaze at the attractive figure at his side and think Would I like her to be my Tina...or my NormaJean...or my Donna or Kaz or....?
So that was it. The consideration filled him with such surprised repulsion that he slammed the glass on the table, and burying his face in his hands, stood in the middle of the floor, shaking his head as if he had done the most horrible thing in the world.
I’d like to consider Adalia as someone more permanent...and why the hell would I even want that? After all, did he honestly want the life he relished disrupted by a companion who became more than a basic one-night stand or an occasional fuck whenever she came to visit? Adalia was going to be a resident of the Point, not simply a visitor, which meant seeing her day in and day out. The thought of her becoming clingy or doe-eyed or behaving like my girlfriend or worse, my wife sent one hand to the Maker’s Mark, which he rapidly poured into the empty glass before he hurried out onto his balcony, fumbling at his tie, breathing hard and gasping for air, and feeling as though the world had suddenly become quite claustrophobic!
But the image was now trapped in his imagination and would not let go. An image of him having grown fat and complacent and married to a very lovely Adalia Rabinovich Barrett, who sat beside him, feeding him his favorite treats – cooked with her own hands – while she whispered the proverbial sweet nothings in his ear. ‘I love a man with some meat on his bones,’ she gently intoned in what sounded like perfect Russian, although it came to him in English and he was unsure how he knew that it was Russian! It did not matter though. Adalia was stuffing another piece of baklava into his mouth, and tenderly kissing away the honey and nuts clinging to his lips....Both his real self and his virtual self began to harden at the sensation....
“Oh fuck!” and the glass flew from his hands. The last he saw of it was as it seemed to catch the light of the moon when it arched upwards...and somewhere down below he heard a tinkling crash, a woman’s scream, then the mingling of voices shouting “What the hell was that?!” and “Who the fuck...”
“Aw shit,” he whispered, backing up and hurrying inside in case he was seen, thankful the lights in his suite were dimmed. “Wonderful! Just wonderful! You know that everyone is going to think I did that on purpose. Shit, Kim, shit. Control yourself.
“It was a fantasy – all a stupid fantasy. She’s not going to show up at the door and turn you into John Biebe! Who the hell wants to be John Biebe anyway?” he asked, adding a pretend shudder as he sought out another glass. “Ewww...He’s married...and fat...well, he was fat before he got married...but he’s married and...and...and...untouchable and...and it’s disgusting. Who needs that? Not I. No...I don’t want to be a husband. John can have that nonsense. Marrying somebody when you don’t have to. No one here at the Point has to get married. Why would they? It ruins all the fun, all the freedom. It’s a load of bullshit. Bad enough I have women thinking I’m going to be their soul mate when they meet me,” and the words ‘soul mate’ were said in a dreamy, feminine voice.
Oh Kim...have you ever met your soul mate? Do you think it’s possible I might be your soul mate? How long have John and Tina been married? Has anyone else here ever gotten married, I mean, outside of Steph and Anthony, and Dr. Anthony really doesn’t count ‘cause he’s not like one of you and your brothers....Oh Kim! You’re sooooooooooooo...big. Oh Kim...I want you inside me soooooooo bad....
“There! That’s the type of life I want. I do not need a soul mate. I definitely do not need a wife. I have no desire to acquire a permanent companion the way so many of my brothers have. I am perfectly happy with my life as it is! So that’s it – final. It was a stupid fantasy, right? Adalia Rabinovich is not going to show up at my door at all!”
So if she was not and he should be happy about that fact , why do I suddenly feel so miserable?
All his pride in the ability to stay controlled and not flinch; to be able to think ‘outside the box’ and ‘ahead of the curve’ -- the very things that set him apart both in college and in the business world – seemed to have dissipated...and all because he saw that SUV with the Indiana license plate parked in front of the Hotel, and immediately became fascinated by the idea of the new arrival. He still had trouble understanding why, considering she was not the first to come to the Point, but the fact that his intended evening had crashed around him stung not just his self-esteem.
It made him realize how much he had wished for an evening alone with Adalia, and not simply for the sex he thought he desired on planning that housewarming gift to accompany his visit.
This had simply made him feel completely and utterly confused for the first time in his existence...and I hate it.